Flying With Kids: What Actually Helps

Nobody remembers the smooth flights. They remember the one where the snacks ran out over Nebraska. Flying with small kids is less about having a perfect plan and more about stacking the odds, one small decision at a time.

Here is what actually helps, from booking the seat to the moment the wheels touch down, with the rules checked against the FAA and TSA rather than a friend of a friend.

Buy the seat, if you can

Children under two can fly on a parent’s lap, and on a short hop it can be fine. But the FAA itself says it strongly discourages it, and it is blunt about the trade: buying a ticket for your child is the only way to guarantee you can use a car seat on board.

If you bring the car seat, look for the label that reads “This restraint is certified for use in motor vehicles and aircraft.” No label, no seat. The FAA also suggests measuring it first: a seat no wider than 16 inches fits most airplane seats. For toddlers who have outgrown the bucket seat but are still small, the CARES harness is the FAA-certified alternative: it loops around the seatback and works for kids between 22 and 44 pounds and up to 40 inches tall. It weighs about a pound and packs down small, which beats hauling a car seat down the jet bridge. One caution from the FAA itself: counterfeits are sold online, so buy from the maker’s own listing.

Security is easier than it looks

The liquids rule bends for families. TSA treats formula, breast milk, toddler drinks and baby food as medically necessary, so they can go over 3.4 ounces and they do not have to fit in your quart bag. Pull them out and tell the officer before screening starts. Ice packs to keep them cold are allowed too.

Two small things that save time: shoes now stay on for everyone, and children 12 and under can keep their light jackets and hats on too. Clear bottles also screen more easily than squeeze pouches, which the liquid scanners sometimes cannot read.

Board first, or board last

Most airlines offer some form of family boarding, and it is worth taking if you have a car seat to install. If you do not, there is a case for the opposite. One parent boards early with the bags and sets up the row while the other lets the kids run laps at the gate and boards last. Ten fewer minutes in a seat is ten minutes you get back at 30,000 feet.

Ears: think about the descent

Everyone braces for takeoff, but the pressure change that makes little ears hurt is usually worse on the way down. Swallowing helps equalize it, so save the bottle, the nursing session, the pacifier or the chewy snack for when the plane starts its descent, roughly half an hour before landing. A sleeping baby on descent is a gift. A crying one is often a baby whose ears are working it out, and it usually passes.

The bag that saves the flight

Kids are not bored by a lack of things. They are bored by things they have already seen. The trick parents swear by is a handful of small, new, cheap things, wrapped if you have the patience, handed out one at a time. Sticker books, a water-reveal coloring pad, bendy wax sticks: quiet, mess-free and nothing that rolls under the seat in front.

Screens are not a failure. Download shows before you leave, because airplane Wi-Fi is not something to plan a toddler around, and pack headphones with a volume limit. Around 85 decibels is the commonly cited ceiling for kids. And pack a full change of clothes for every child and one shirt for yourself. You will thank us!

Give them the window

This one is free. A window seat turns a flight into a show: the baggage carts, the runway lights, the clouds from above. So make it a game! Before you leave, find one river, one mountain or one stretch of coast that your route crosses, and see who spots it first. Then keep a running count of the small stuff: other planes, baseball diamonds, swimming pools, a train. Kids who are hunting for something stop asking how much longer. If you want to know which side to book for the view, we wrote a whole guide: Which Side of the Plane Should You Sit On?

This is part of The Window Seat Guide, our series on the seat itself. Also in the series: Which Side of the Plane Should You Sit On? and How to Photograph From the Window Seat.

Lead photo by minho jeong on Unsplash. The Window Seat is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Links in the kit above are affiliate links, and we may earn a small commission on qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. Rules referenced from the FAA and TSA; airline policies vary, so check yours before you fly.